Tis The Season

This week over the last 5 years has always proven to be... interesting for me. This year did not disappoint. I love Christmas! I love being with my family and the spirit of the season. However, when Christmas ends I always face another realization, yet one more December 28th to celebrate alone. This last Wednesday would have been Tyler's 27th birthday. I thought maybe this year I could survive the day as a normal person while celebrating Tyler's life in my heart. I was unsuccessful. I pretty much fell apart as soon as I woke up and spent the day praying that I would not cry. My mom always knows what I need, and it turned out to be a day baking bread, helping Emma with statistics homework, and watching a stupid movie.
Throughout the last 5 years people have said things such as, "You'll get over it" or "You'll move on." I don't think those things are true, and I refuse to ever say them to other people. Instead I focus on, "You'll learn to cope." I have incorporated heart break and a tremendous amount of pain and sorrow into a new version of me. A version of me that has a lot more empathy and patience than I used to have. A version of me that relies heavily on my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ.
Christ suffered not only for my sins, but he suffered my sorrows, my heartache, my shortcomings, and my weaknesses. My Savior knows exactly what it's like to be Sarah and to be sad, to feel broken beyond repair. My Savior truly knows how to succor me. He is always running toward me with arms outstretched. He catches me when, like Wednesday, I fall and can't seem to get up.
I am loved. I am blessed. Heavenly Father has placed people in my life to help me learn to cope, to love me despite my broken state. I have been blessed with many new amazing friends over the last 5 years and I am continuously surrounded by friends from long ago. I have a loving family who somehow hasn't disowned me. I have been given a second chance to feel safe and beautiful with another person. I am blessed.
Happy birthday Tyler!