A Challenge to Overcome Myself

Have you ever just been struck with a case of the blahs and you can't get rid of it? That's where I'm at. About 9 months ago I was positive that I had defeated the depression I had been diagnosed with. I moved to a new house over a year ago with a fantastic roommate. I didn't love my job, but there was a glimmer of hope that I would learn to love it. I had wonderful friends who were fun to spend time with and my family was still putting up with me. I felt content, happy, at peace. While none of that has changed; I still have a job (that I have definitely NOT learned to love), a roommate who puts up with my mood swings, friends who I love, and a family who seems to always know what's wrong with me, I can't seem to overpower the darkness anymore. I've been battling for a few weeks now and I'm pretty sure I'm drowning. I'm nowhere near where I used to be, and I hope and pray I never see days like those again. But, I'm in need of some help.

Today at church I was reminded of something my amazing bishop said. I can't remember what triggered the thought, but the thought is what's important. Bishop Anderson told us that there are 3 steps that we need to take with everything: 1. Faith, 2. Trust, 3. Effort. First we must have faith. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and faith that they will hear my prayers. Second we must trust our Savior and Heavenly Father. Like I said, they love us, each of us. It's time for me to let go and trust. I don't know how to do that, so apparently it's time to learn. Third we must put forth effort. I can't just sit around waiting for Heavenly Father to do everything for me, that's not how it works.

While all of this was going through my mind, the Spirit also gave me a plan. I know myself well enough to know that if I don't make myself responsible to someone I won't follow my plan. So, any of you who read this are now witnesses to my plan. Here it is: I will read the entire Book of Mormon by the last day of school, June 4th. I will have faith that the Book of Mormon is true and that it will help me with the things I am struggling with. I am putting my trust in my Savior that he will heal my heart, comfort my sorrows, lighten my load, and lead me to the happiness I so desparately want. I will put forth the effort to bring the Spirit into my life by doing things we have been counseled to do.

My testimony isn't wavering, but sometimes my emotional stability wavers. I know my Savior lives and I know that through Him I will receive salvation. I know that I am daughter of God and because of that I have great potential and an amazing eternal life ahead of me. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. I can't imagine life without this gospel. Here we go, about 2 1/2 months...

First Experience As A Vendor

Thursday February 18th was my first attempt as a business woman. Studio Salons held a boutique to introduce the new Lindon location and I was invited to participate. I had about 18 completed headwraps to sell. In the business world my night would be considered a failure. I only sold 1 headwrap. I was disappointed, but I have been invited to attend next month's boutique and I think I'll give it one more try.

Warning...

As a school counselor I try to teach my students to learn from other people's mistakes (even though I don't follow this advice myself...) so I will employ the same idea with this post. Please learn from MY mistake this morning.

My hair was ready for a cut and I had an appointment set for this evening with Callie to get a color and cut. Because my hair was longer than usual it didn't sit the way I like in my usual style so I decided to use my flat iron to flip the ends out and then pull it part-way up. I've done it before, and this morning was not different than any other morning. So, I get to flipping my hair out. There was this one difficult chunk at the bottom right side of my head, near my neck, that was giving me fits. I decided I would make this piece of hair conform to what I wanted it to look like so I proceeded to run the flat iron over it several times. After a few passes over that disobedient piece of hair I started to smell something odd, "Oh, this fancy new flat iron is just hot" I thought. But, as I brought the flat iron off my hair and in front of my face there was a significant chunk of my hair on it. It took a short moment for that sight and the smell to register. I had burned off a chunk of hair that was at least an inch in length. I have thin fine hair to begin with so to see that much hair no longer connected to my hair did set off the panic alarms. Luckily I remembered (before the tears started) I had an appointment with my trusty Callie. When I saw her tonight she didn't think my story was very funny and my hair ended up shorter than it usually is. I was firmly told to keep my tender remaining piece of hair away from the flat iron for the next 6 weeks and then we will re-assess.

Lesson I hope all my dear friends will learn... hair cannot be forced and flat irons get HOT! However, if any of you are stubborn like me and are determined to make your own mistakes, I know a really good cosmetologist. She gave me a fantastic cut and color to go along with the lengthy lecture. :)

I Am So Blessed

I had the opportunity to go to the Draper Temple yesterday with a group of my friends. It was exactly what I needed and I felt slightly ashamed that I hadn't figured that out sooner. As I was sitting in the Celestial Room I looked around me at the people I had gone with and was filled with the Spirit and with so much love. I realized how greatly blessed I have been. Heavenly Father gave me these wonderful people from my ward at a time when I needed them most. They welcomed me with open arms from the moment I first walked into that ward and I believe they will be my eternal friends. They did not run when my emotional baggage came to light, instead they held me tighter. Heavenly Father has also blessed me with friends at work who make facing each day a little easier (and much more entertaining). I honestly don't believe I would be able to do my job if it weren't for the friends I have at work. Heavenly Father has blessed me with longtime friends. I have friends who I have known for over 10 years who still enjoy spending time with me. They know me probably better than I know myself. I have friends who have accepted me into their family, and by so doing have become family, with no hesitation; who have allowed me to become "Aunt Sar" or "Auntie Sarah." Names that mean more to me than I ever thought they would. I have been given family members who are also considered best friends. People who I know will always be there when no one else is on my "Okay List."
At a time in my life when everything feels so uncertain and often very lonely I have been blessed with friends who love me for me and help me become a better person. It is comforting for me to know that while I have become aware, within the last month, that I face some major decisions and some gigantic scary steps I have not been asked to do it alone. Heavenly Father has filled my life with friends.

A New Business Venture...

As many people know, I L-O-V-E love to knit. When I am knitting it is the only time that my mind is either completely calm and stress-free or fully able to think in a rational manner. The rest of the time I'm this psycho mess of whacky emotions.

I have been able to use this stress reliever not only for myself, but for others. I have made many baby blankets, baby hats, adult afghans, and scarves. It is purely seflish because not only do I receive the calming influence of knitting but I also experience the joy that comes from giving.

It's now time to branch out. I took a class and learned to make the new headwraps that are suddenly in style and I have decided to become a business woman. I have made 3 of these wraps already and sold 2. So, here's where my sales pitch comes in. If anyone is interested in purchasing one of my headwraps please let me know. I am selling them for $12 and I am willing to ship them if necessary for only $2 more. I will also take color requests. If you would like to buy a headwrap or if you have questions either comment on this post or e-mail me at swscarlett@gmail.com. Please pass the word along to all your friends and family. I am really excited about this! As new projects become available I will post pictures here.

Community Building at Valley???

Disclaimer: This blog is a lot more interesting with the video. However, I once again failed at uploading a video straight to my blog, so you'll have to click on the link.

Today during our usual Friday staff meeting one of the math teachers made a proposal. She showed us this clip from the Oprah Winfrey show and suggested we do something similar with the faculty AND our students at the end of the year. She also said she would check on some connections to see if we could get it on the news. The more I think about her idea the more I love it. The cheerleaders and student body officers will be recruited to go from Advisory to Advisory to teach it, which means the cheer advisor (that's still me) would have to learn it as well.
What do you think???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvljD0toJmU

Happy 2010!!

I got to spend New Years' Eve with some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for. Our evening was fairly low key, but the company and conversation was great.
We decided to just stay at Amber's this year. We enjoyed a tasty dinner at McGrath's Fish House at the Gateway and then headed to Amber's for the rest of the night. I had a lot of fun and I am very grateful for fantastic friends.

After dinner Heather got a little turned around on the drive home (which is potentially scary in downtown Salt Lake City). Sure enough we ended up in a shady area. We were feeling a little wild and crazy and made Heather pull over so we could take a picture to document our adventure trying to get home. This picture pretty much explains it...

Ringing in the New Year with Haylee, Heather, and Amber.

I have a couple days to ponder on the new year. I am feeling optimistic about 2010. I just have a great feeling about this year, and I am anxious to see what Heavenly Father has in store for me this year.

I have also spent time thinking about this last decade (it sure went fast!). A lot of things happened in my life and I can see how much I've grown and how much I've been blessed. Here's a brief summary of what I've thought about:

• I graduated from high school in 2001.
• I earned a Bachelor's degree.
• I earned a Master's degree.
• I spent a semester strengthening my testimony at the Joseph Smith Academy in Nauvoo, Illinois.
• I have nearly 200 college credits.
• I bought 2 cars.
• I was in 3 car accidents (none of which were my fault, and only one of which I was driving).
• I fell in love.
• I experienced grief like I never thought I would.
• I had 5 different jobs.
• I moved 3 times (all of which were in the last 2 years).
• I've held 4 different church callings.
• I waited for a missionary.
• I learned to knit.
• I made new friends who will forever have an impact on my life.
• I have attended 2 different wards.
• I have worked with over 700 students.
• I've traveled to Hawaii twice, Canada 5 times, Florida, California, Idaho, Wyoming, Washingon, Oregon, Illinois, Ohio, Nebraska, New York, Nevada.
• I questioned my testimony and what I believe.
• I found peace.
• I recieved my endowments in the Jordan River Temple December 28, 2008.
• I read the Book of Mormon several times.

For now, that's all I can think of. There were many more events over the last 10 years. I feel incredibly blessed and I am thankful for all that I have. I am looking forward to this year and I pray that all my friends and family will be safe, be healthy, and have peace for the decade to come.